marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
