one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
