haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
