I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
