Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
