im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
