Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
