what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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