Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
where are my eyebrows?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
