Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
