shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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