so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
