we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found puke in my bra..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
