Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
