i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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