If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
