I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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