all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
