I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Come on in and take your pants off
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