When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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