remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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