I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize