Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
