my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
barbara walters just said penis...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
