You made me cry and you don't even care
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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