ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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