God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
