this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
