If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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