Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
