Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
