I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
