When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
