I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Can I color on your dick again?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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