We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
