I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
