I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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