3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
