is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
