real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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