oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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