dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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