I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
