i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
