Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
