I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize