I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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