Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
