yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
