im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hippo gnu deer
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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