What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fuck appropriateness.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
