i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize