first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize