Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
