it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
