I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
