Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
