I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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