dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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