I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The power of my boobs compel you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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