4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
