just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
