I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
