PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My vagina just recognized that song.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
