ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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