People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
