She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
