He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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