Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
