Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
