i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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