I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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