I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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